Books, Jobs, Jogs... What else is new?

With more than a week, i've finished my latest batch of novels and it feels like crap cause now i have nothing to do again! Soooo, bought a couple of books just now to add to my collection which i will never read again~~~ Seriously! i know that its healthy to read books but novels are fucking expensive! plus, i'll probably never read them again! i mean who reads a novel twice, huh? Dont get me wrong, i love books, but if i were to add up the prices of all the books i have now, i'll probably faint due to the 5 or 6 figure numbers... The only reason i read books is mostly to pass the time so i wouldn't get bored... The only solution would be to get a job but im still weighing the pros and cons of that decision, i wanna have a job but since im in a state of having no driver's license, its kinda hard~ Not to mention my perfectly flawed social skills, i mean, i've never worked a day in my life, i'd probably kill my boss in less than a day of working... *sigh*

But seriously, i dont mind if i dont have a job as long as my days are interesting, another reason im weary about getting a job is that my parents promised me to go on vacation next year so if i have a job, i wouldn't be able to go vacationing with them would i? I've been thinking about my dream jobs like working at a bookstore, or a DVD store, or just a cashier but most of these jobs are dominated by women!!! i weep at the prospect ='( So, i'll probably give up cause dad's trying to find me a job by using his long list of friends and connections... I hope he finds me a good one... My parents aren't forcing me to find a job, which is good, but then, my holidays are long and i'll always need money from them, which is bad... Ohhhh, my head hurts just thinking about it cause i really feel guilty about taking money from them...

Okay, enough with the jobs cause i wanna talk about jogs =) or Jogging cause lately dad's been bringin me and mom jogging, which is good cause it adds another activity for me so i wouldn't get bored just lying at home... Yesterday at Bukit Shahbandar and today at Damuan, man my feet hurt but the thought about getting healthy and skinny overpowers the pain! hahahah! i really wanna lose weight before i go to any Uni because since there are no guarantees that i'll be going to a Uni with someone i know. So i'll probably need to adapt well, and i know this sounds horrible but skinny people tend to find friends easier than fat people... It sounds horrible i know, but im not talking about someone's size relates to their personality, im just sayin that people/humans are shallow, and shallowness seem to have an aversion to fatness, and to adapt you need to fit in and if your small like everyone else you wont stand out... Now, if im goin to Uni in Brunei, i wont care what i look like but if im gonna study abroad and away from family and friends, i'll need to adapt and connect with people easily to have a support net... The truth is ugly and thats how it goes so hooray! for the beautiful skinny bitches! i mean, people! and boo! to the fat ugly ones which includes me~~~~~~ ='(

Its sad, i know, but what can you do? just shrug it off... Below are the books ive read for the holidays =) all of the are really good, Good Omens is a bit complicated but the story is nice =)

Life's Good =D

My parents are back!!! They arrived on 2nd December, and life for me has been very good cause i get to spend time with my dear mommy and ignore the existence of whatsherface. Hahahaha... My Bro's been very good too! He's more rounder now, soo Haha! We've been watchin horror flicks at midnight for the past few days along with LP and some other cousins. Like i said, life's good for now =)

So, since my parents are back, i get to be a spoilt brat again! Hahaha, just kidding! Im not that spoilt~ =D
Anyways, I,ve bought aome very awesome DVDs to watch with my bros and some Novels (Finally!) for me to read during this very very very long holiday. I totally went all out in buying the novels cause its totally been a while since my last novels and i believe that i had "Book Withdrawal" symptoms a while back, but all of that is gone and im simply able to enjoy a good book. Although, i've still have a problem about finishing a book a day cause at this rate i'd probably be out of books to read in a week or two. With that, i really need to read my books in moderation and control my bookmania...

Anyways, i bought the books yesterday at Reader's Haven at Jerudong. My parents dropped me off there while they had some bank transaction to do. I was content with this because for me, book shopping is very delicate at takes time, i tend to not 'Judge a book by its cover' literally, so i surveyed through the genres which i sometimes get confused about especially with 'Supernatural/Paranormal' and 'Fantasy'... You see, my favourite genre would be the former which is 'Supernatural/Paranormal'. In my mind, 'Paranormal/Supernatural' would be about Vamps, Ghosts, Witches and Weres. And 'Fantasy' would be about Fairies, Elves, Pixies and Ogres or whatever. The problem is, these 2 genres seem to melt together as one like Charlaine Harris' Sookie Stackhouse novels, where there are Vamps, Were, Witches and now Fairies & Maenads are included. I dont mind the 2 genres mix but what i do mind is the classification of this new Genre, its now not 'Paranormal/Supernatural' nor is it 'Fantasy'.... I've grown a fondness of this new genre and its hard for me to find it cause i have to look under both 'Supernatural/Paranormal' and 'Fantasy', although most of the new genre are put under 'Paranormal' i just cant shake off the feeling it also belongs in the 'Fantasy' section and sure enough some of them are put under there too. Its very confusing for me so i tend to just survey all of the other sections...

Anyways, i bought 5 books yesterday and it costed $80+, Damn! i kinda felt guilty about that but i thought, "Bukannya Selalu", and just forgot about cause Dad also didn't seem to mind... Im quite happy with my selection although im also dissapointed cause i couldn't find anymore books from Lillith Saintcrow but i did find a book by Terri Pratchett which i wanted to read ages ago and now im able to, Yay! =D

I guess, My life is happy for now, But just wait till the results season cause im not quite sure of my grades~~~ Mom&Dad want me to study abroad but im content with studying here near home but i'll do whatever to pleas them. But im just afraid of what will happen if i dont get to study abroad. I'd hate to see the look of dissapointment in their eyes... ='(

But whateverlh~ Heres a quote from one of the new books that i read and finished in one day! (1 down 4 more to go!);

"Whats the worst that could happen? You'll die but we dont know if thats a bad thing" Kitty & The Midnight Hour by Carrie Vaughn

Hi My Name Is...

Hi, My name is Wardi and im a cutter... When im in complete emotional distress i hurt myself physically usually by burning my skin, pounding the walls till my fists hurts but mostly by cutting using any sharp objects i can find... I know its stupid but its the only way to stop the pain inside, the physical pain makes the emotional pain feel better... It does sound like im an unstable person but i cant explain what people may not understand... Im not suicidal, i dont want to end my life, i want to live to see another day... I dont know why im posting this but something in my gut tells me that i have to... I cut my arms recently and its hard to hide the scars, if people saw them they'd probably think im stupid or probably crazy but like i said, i cant explain what people may not understand...

I just cried a river ='( "Prayers for Bobby"

Okay! Seriously!!! i just fucking cried my eyeballs off and gawd that was frickin refreshing to let all that raw emotion just gush out in the form of tears... I was watchin Ben 10: Alien Swarm and the guy who played as Ben really intrigued me, he's not that good lookin but theres something about him that makes him compelling... So, i wikipedia'd the Ben 10 movie then i entered the actors wikipedia profile and i was suprised to see that he played a gay character in a film called "Prayers for Bobby".... Now, i've heard about this film from Afterelton and it was supposedly remarkable soo i tried to watch it on youtube and guess what, i was able to see the movie from youtube, the full movie...


In "Prayers for Bobby," Mary Griffith is a devout Christian who raises her children with the conservative teachings of the Presbyterian Church. However, when her son Bobby confides to his older brother he may be gay, life changes for the entire family after Mary learns about his secret. While Bobby's father and siblings slowly come to terms with his homosexuality, Mary believes God can cure him of what she considers his 'sin' and persuades Bobby to pray harder and seek solace in church activities in hopes of changing him. Desperate for his mother's approval, Bobby does what is asked of him, but through it all, the church's apparent disapproval of homosexuality causes him to grow increasingly withdrawn and depressed. Guilty over the pain he is causing Mary, Bobby moves away, yet hopes that some day his mother will accept him. His subsequent depression and self-loathing intensifies as he blames himself for not being the 'perfect' son and is driven to suicide. Faced with their tragedy, Mary begins to question her faith when she receives no answers from her pastor concerning her devastating loss. Through her long and emotional journey, Mary slowly reaches out to the gay community and discovers unexpected support from a very unlikely source. The film is based on the 1995 Leroy Aarons book of the same name. Written by Louie Neira


This story is truly amazing! it really touched my heart cause i could really relate to the story. I cried my eyes out after watching this film cause i was truly touched by the love of the mother, eventhough her love and understanding was too little too late... There are a lot of things that are outstanding about the film but i cant describe it with words, you just HAVE to watch the film on youtube, seriously, it really is beautiful!

Absence makes the heart grow fonder

Its been about 3 weeks since i last saw my Parents and Bro and ever since then im really starting to miss them... Since i've been stuck living with whatsherface, my life has been very empty for the most part, dont get me wrong, i dont hate her family i just hate her... The only thing thats keepin me sane and entertained are my lappy, some DVD's and my besties whom i hang out with to relieve the pressure of living with a control-frickin monster!

Sometimes the bitch means well but her overall attitude trumps her good natured-ness which i barely even see evryday. I mean she always yell and yell and yell and yell even more that sometimes im considering to ask my Dad for soundproof walls. She's a damn riot and not a good one! I also realise that she is somehow tryin to rekindle our sibling relationship by inviting me go out with her and her family but everytime i turn down her offer. Thats because, i really do feel left out when going out with then since im not one of their family members. I know im family to them considering im whatsherface's lil bro but i dont feel any kinship when im with them, i only feel kinship towards my nephew who sometimes hate me for no reason...

Face it, my family is Mom, Dad and Bro... They make me feel that i belong, for reasons unknown to me, maybe because i just dont have any love for whatsherface and her husband, i dunno why... Sometimes they disgust me, i dont have any fond memories of me with whatsherface let alone her husband whom i dont have anything in common with, i see these 2 everyday but thats just it, we're not family, we're just strangers living under one roof... I know i sound horrible for not recognising one of my own flesh and blood as family but its true... i dont feel any affetcion for those 2, none, if this were a normal day where mom, dad and bro were here, i would avoid them like a plague, they make it easier for the whole family to avoid them cause they spend most of their time in their room... But now, they tend to go out of their room more which still freaks me out cause im not used to seeing them walk around in the house... Ugh~~~~~

I really miss mom, dad and bro, i know i always complain about hating them but thats waht families do, to an extent, they hate each others guts but still maintain affection for one another... Thats why im kinda reconsidering an attitude change once my parents and bro come home cause seriously, once your left with whatsherface i cant help but to realise that my parents are softcore compared to that bitch! I really really do miss them and i wish for their safe arrival...

Absence does make the heart grow fonder =)

Z's Humiliating Celebration

Okay, we celebrated Z's Birthday today and it was damn hillarious and damn awesome cause Freak and me were able to make things happen for Z and we were also able to very well humiliate him! hah!

To start off the day, or in our case the afternoon with watching a movia at the mall, before all of that, and before pickin Z up, Me and Freaky discussed very hard on how to really suprise Z, although we didn't have any idea, i thought up about suprising him with dinner at Pizza Hut! Unable to think up any other great ideas we just went with my Pizza Hut idea~~~ and damn, it apparently turned out to be a superb idea! So, this afternoon we decide to watch 2012 and damn! it was great! although a bit too long but the special effects gave me goosebumps! Since the movie was more than 2 hours i bought 2 popcorns and a drink while Freak bought 2 drinks! Which was a decision he regretted afterward because by the end of the movie his tank was totally full beyond the limit! Even i who just bought 1 drink had a full tank at the end of the movie! hah! poor silly little Freak! hahaha!

We planned on going to dinner after the movie. Now Z didn't know about this plan so we just told him to follow our lead, so we led him to Pizza Hut and he was like "I cant afford this!" hahah, Oh Z, mcm nda pham sja, hahahah! So we went in and ordered a bunch of stuff while Freak and me were discretely discussing on how to make Z's birthday celebration more memorable! So we had this really awesome idea! i suggested it and freak perfected it! We were both gleaming with anticipation when everything was set! So we ate and ate and ate until we were so damn full and were cracking jokes along the way...

So once everyone was done eating, Freak gave the signal and THEN all of the Pizza Hut staff surrounded our table bringing an ice-cream sunday with a lit candle singing happy birthday to Z in 3 different languages, HAHAHAHAH!!!! At first Z was like "siapa bday ni kn?!?" and then when the Pizza Hut employees obviously sang to him, he covered hi face for a long while cause he was damn blushing! hahahaha! Me and Freak laughed the whole time seeing Z get embarrased! hahahahah! When the singing was over and Z blew out his candle, he was very furious at us in a good way cause he was soooo god damn embarrased! hahaha, you should've seen em! it was sooo damn adorable! hahahahaha, frankly im worried cause he swore to return the favour sooo damn!

Note to self: Avoid any restaurants or food joints during my birthday! hahaha!

Afterwards, we spent some time at Z's uncle's house and just hung out, talking, laughing and having a good time! Boy, i'll never forget this cause truth be told, this was the first time Z experienced this sooo ahahahahahahaha! sweetnaiveandadorable Z!

Gilrs... Errr... I mean, Guys Night In!

Girls Night! Hah!

Last night was so fun! Okay, okay, I was helping Freak with his Art thang and had to go home early cause Whatsherface doesn't want to leave the house empty for some reason! stoopid, considerin even before mom and dad went for the Haji, the house was always empty! So spending time with Freak had to be cut short but wait... Freak says he wants to continue his work at my house cause he claims that he cant finish it without me so i said okay... But, before we went home which was probably at about quarter-to-six, i bought some DVD's cause of my situtation where i really cant ask whatsherface to bring me anywhere, therefore its really hard for me to buy DVD's... Anyways, bought a couple of DVD's, bought some snacks and drinks then went home... My home...

As soon as we entered i ushered Freak to my room and switched on the Wifi so he could preceed with his work... Anyways for a couple of minutes, he was able to continue with his work but THEN he wanted to watch the DVD that i bought cause he was like whining so much about his work! Hahahaha...

Unfortunately, i bought a DVD that we both loved to watch and there goes the night... We were watching the last disc of Drop Dead Diva on my laptop, we both sat in front my lappy and scarfed down the snacks that i bought with each hugging a pillow cause my room was soo damn cold last night! if you could imagine what we did with the pillows last night, it would probably look like this...

Wait... that looks soo gay so imagine it looking like this!

There! this looks less gay right???

Hahaha, we spent the whole night watching 3 episodes of DDD back-to-back until it was getting late~~~ and it was still raining soooo, brrrrrr! it was cold! damn it! We actually huddled up in my blanket~ of course, Freak! covered his whole body while i only got to cover my legs! Damn, hypocrit! hahaha! The Disc actually had 5 epis but since it was gettin late, we settled for 3 plus we were in dire need of more snackage! So, we warmed up for a while, to take out the frostbite out of our system and went to DQ and had a very delicious blizzard which is ironic considering were whining about the cold earlier. FYI Freak warmed up by pole dancing so i'd just like to say, The Horra! The Horra!

Last night was fun mostly because of her!

Literature, Why hath thou forsaken me?

Seriously??? Damn it! literature is fucking hard okay??? i mean i've just started reading on 'The Duchess of Malfi' (Finally!) and damn! it aint frickin easy to picture the whole story considering i dont even know what the hell their sayin! I know its my own fault for not entering class during the lesson course of this play but hey, we only started this play 2 weeks before the exams started soo even if i attended, there wouldn't be much time to finish it considering the amount of time it takes to analyse just one scene of the play during classes! Plus, even when attending Lit classes, i'll probably fall asleep like i always do, hence the title as 'sleeping beauty'. Dont get me wrong, Lit is my best subject but its subject im really bored with! If i understood the play completely then i'll probably love it but since most of the plays that we study for literature use some sorta shakesperean language i am totally baffled by it hence not loving it! Plus, this is the first literature 'book' that i have total difficulty in finding the notes online, i mean damn! I have to pay just to read the analysis and study guide for the play??? What is up with that? Greedy lil bitches!!!

To tell you the truth, literature is the subject im most afraid of cause im just not sure about my potential. I got an A for my AS but im not sure its due to luck or just true talent cause i totally didn't give a 100% during the AS. Thats why im so scared cause with literature, everything is unexpected, your analysis might be damn great but f the marker is not in sync with your idea thn you'll probably get screwed. I think my ideas are great but sometimes my analysis runs way too deep which is actually good but will the marker get me? That is the big fat question! Im seriously effing scared yo! I would probably be ok if i had someone to study with for Lit but damn! I am totally anti-social during lit classes except to very few people cause basically, Lit students are mostly made up by the higher-ups. Higher-ups are people who are on the top of the social popularity list, they are upper class kids who i presume have fun by attending parties and social events and whatsoever. Their kinda like the norms, perfect to say the least and i just cant bear to start conversations with them. I feel so low when im in their company and i dunno why considering know most of the higher-ups because i went to the same school as them. Even back then they were like the 'everybody knows us'... Its not that their snobs but iits evident that the way they act reflects their social and economic status. People like me dont mix with them, i kinda belonged with the juvenile group where we just joke around all the time and disrupting class by my damn loud laugh. Anyways, i like them but i just cant find common ground with them thus i am unable to interact with them.

But there are higher-ups exceptions like Munii, she's a higher-up but also mix with the rugged higher-ups, rugged higher-ups are more or less the same but their fun includes some deviant acts like smoking, drinking and whatever that is deviant, this also includes wild parties. My kind are well with the rugged higher-ups cause they tend to be more open, humble and non-judgemental but still, higher-ups are higher-ups, we dont mix with them that much... Anyways, this is why Lit is hard for me, i lack focus and i lack companions to discuss it with sooo with all my heart, i hope that i dont screw this cause im still eyeing that Lit scholarship....

Just testin

Imma postin from my damn phone ya'll! Aint this kewl!

Whatsherface, Dancin and Z

Hello there, things havent really progressed from my last post, i mean everytime i wanna ask something from my sister i get scared shitless... My shampoo has been out since last week and im just barely getting by with adding water to the remaining shampoo solution! I dont have the guts to ask her to buy my shampoo cause theres only 1 place that sells my shampoo and it is totally far and if you knew my sister as long as i do, you'll know she's not the kind who would interrupt her spare time by doing a favour for her lil bro. Another reason for me to hate her so much that cow!

In other news, i've been very interested in dancng nowadays =) i mean, i've been dancing my ass off everytime i hear a rockin or poppin beat and dancin used to be a huge no-no for me cause i used to be insecure about dancing considering my size. But now im like nodding my head like yeah! swinging my hips like yeah! i love the feeling you get when you dont have a care in the world and just move your body to the music with such passion and animality that you wanna just keep on dancin so the feelin wont fade away! I've finally experienced the therapeutic effects of dancing and i am loving it bitch! haha! plus! in the light of all these shows filled with dance routines such as Glee, So you think you can dance? and Superstars of dance, i find that all the different genres of dance contain their own kind of unique beauty, like the elegant yet edgy moves of Vogueing, the time-warping awesomeness of pop'n'lock-ing and the beauty that is ballroom dancing. I just love it! Like, today i watched the whole 2 hours of So you think you can dance and yesterday i totally loved Superstars of dance, damn! im gettin pretty obsessed. Maybe this obsession came due to the lack of anything to do in my part, but hey, this new obsession of mine is pretty cool! haha!

Oh i almost forgot that yesterday i totally had fun hangin out with Freaky, Nysa and Yaya... Freaky needed help about some art thing where i had to take pics of him at the beach, at first t was only me and Freaky and then i invited Nysa who then brought Yaya. We spent most of our time yesterday at Pantai Tungku. We arrived there about 2.30 pm and left at about 6.30 pm! boy did we have fun! hahah! its been a while since i've hanged with Nysa so yesterday was totally refreshing cause i miss that bee-yotch sooo much! hahaha! a guy like me must have his hag ok?!? hahaha! Although, Yaya was pretty awkward, seriously awkward, i mean when i tried to like interact with him, it was like i did all the talking while he just listened and responded in the form of 1 sentence each time! So i was like wha??? seriously, there is no pleasing that guy! Trust me, i like him, he doesn't have any evil, bad or annoying personality traits at all but i just find difficulty in finding common ground with him, believe me, i've tried and for countless times i have failed damn miserably! Its okay though, i guess we just dont have chemistry or sparks together.... Unlike me and Yazid...

*sigh* Yazid... I miss that SOB, i was hoping that he would join me and Freaky yesterday but no such luck! he had to study for an exam he had! Damn, if he didn't have to study, we would've completed our triumvate! Sometimes im always thinkn about my friendship with Z because our friendship is like nothing else, we seem to be 2 different people with totally different interests yet when we're together, fireworks happen! haha! Thats the reason that sometimes i call him my soulmate because he's seriously my bestfriend to a point that eventhough we're separated, once we meet up, its like I/He never even left my side... Even other people have pointed out the uniqueness of our bond which some people found weird to a point that they thought we were an item which was very gross! i can imagine myself dating anyone except Z! hahaha! Its very funny actually, we've been bestfriends for a very very very long time! You can say that were childhood friends actually cause i knew him since we were about 6 or 7 years old. Back then i didn't realise we would turn out to be perfect for each other, hahaha! I mean He loves sports, I dont, I love anything fabulous or glamorous, he doesn't, I think about other people, he's selfish and so on... see? were like totally different yet you cant deny our bond! hahaha, For my whole life, i've been searching for friends like Z yet none can measure up to him, its like with the others, theres something missing but i dont know what. Who knows, maybe our friendship was destined by fate, maybe we really are soulmates of the friendship kind or maybe its just something mundane... Whatever it is though, im just hopin that our friendship will last, you know? Cause Z is the bestest friend i've got, He's my brother from another mother! =P

And i do love him like a brother and a friend... Nothing more and nothing less....

Hear me rant!

So like oh my god! its been a very long while since i've blogged about anything... Well, you know how it is, now we've got Facebook, Twitter and yadda yadda yadda... My mind has been too simplistic to write a post, so simple that im just using facebook to describe what feel daily with more or less one sentence, aint that just grand? So its been like almost a month since my A-levels started (Yes, the most dreaded exam of the year!) and suprisingly it has not been that very stressful~ Well, maybe because for the whole duration of the exam season i've been hangin around with Zid and Freaky and making fools of ourseles as we hang out! We dont just hang out, we actually, well, occasionally study together but that only took us about a couple hours. Once we gie up on studying, its off we go to the beach! Yes, we go to the beach everytime! You might be thinkin that we would get bored of hangin at the beach everyday but no, we dont get bored, each and everytime was fun for us... Anyways, theres only 1 exam left for me and that is English Literature, which i havent even touched! I havent even read one of the books which is "The Duchess of Malfi" which by the way is very effing boooorrrriiiiiinggg!!!! Hahahaha, Its so funny that the subject that im most good at is the subject that im most bored with! I really need to fix that problem since im targeting a Literature scholarship~~~

Enough about academics, its time to hear about my personal life which by the way has probably improved, probably.... Im really starting to miss my parents and my big bro since they left for the Haj which was last tuesday. I know i've always said a million times that i hate them but we're family, sometimes we hate on each other but most of the time we love each other, at least thats what i think! hahahaha! Now im left with Sis and god almighty she can bitch! She bitches so good, aint nothin she cant bitch about! hahaha, seriously! Living with this woman is like livin in a minefield, i gotta watch where i step so i wouldn't be blown up to smitherenes! I fuckin hate her, unlike my other family members whom i have a love/hate relationship with, when it comes to my sister, its a hate/hate relationship! you can practically count how many minutes she's been nice in a day! I really hope i can survive!

In other news! Z's got a girlfriend and im am so damn proud of him! i swear to god, that the minute i saw that his facebook status went from "its complicated" to "in an open relationship", my heart skipped a beat cause i really cant believe that my bestfriend's all grown up! After that i just felt a wave of nostalgia and went on thinkin about love~~~ see, i havent actually found anyone, i didn't even TRY to find anyone! I suddenly thought up about how im gonna meet my true love and damn it was cheesy! So after givin this some serious thought i finally went outside for a smoke and then guess what happened? While i lighting up a cigarette, i looked up ath the clouds and i saw this cloud shaped as a heart and i was like whaaa??? i figured that it was a sign whether i should start tryin to find my soulmate or that Z's relationship is really born outta love considerin that i saw the heart-shaped cloud right after looking at the change in his status... Man, i totally felt weird yesterday watchin the cloud cause i really do wanna find my true love but i just dont know how, im just too scared~ Ive had my heartbroken, dozens of times and i wasn't even in a relationship back then! The people i used to love never loved me back cause i was always the friend, never the lover so its no wonder i have a hard time trying to find someone~ And sometimes the people around me aint makin things easier, theres pressure for being single nowadays and i hate that very much... The ones who are passing judgement arent even in real relationships! sure they have girlfriends/boyfriends but when you ask them why they cant stay a single day being single they'll answer "being single is boring!" which is stupi cause that means that they're in a relationship just for fun... Puh-lease! Honey! that ain t a relationship! thats just a fling! So what if i wanna wait for a relationship with someone i truly love huh??? So what??? A relationship without love somehow feels useless and empty......

FuckFuckFuck... MuddMuddMudd...

Oh fuck it! What a pretty fucking brilliant start for a pretty fucking brilliant day! i mean seriously fuck! For fuck's sake this morning was one more fuck away from being one of the most fucking jynxed morning of my fucking life... Today there was a wedding or a nikah or what fucking ever, its not important. Usually i dont attend these things cause frankly their fucking irritable and boring unless you have someone to talk to where in my case i dont so there was nothing for me to do except sit there like a fucking vegetable... Urgh~

Anyways, we went to the wedding/nikah thing at about 11.30am and damn this morning was fucking HOT! i mean seriously it was damn hot and i was wearing a double underneath my cara melayu so you can imagine the buckets of sweat i was producing. On second thought dont imagine it cause its fucking gross. Anyways, its been a while since i've attended shindigs like this so i forgot how unbearably long this bllody event was! i probably fell asleep 5 times while sitting up straight and god help me i was thirsty! my head was rocking back and forth cause i was constantly falling asleep! Okay, so we started waiting at about quarter-to-twelve and the eating starts at half-past-one so the process of waiting took more or less an hour and a half soo yeah im feelin grumpy about it. Here comes the irony, once everyone finished eating, THEN the storm came! i mean why couldn't it have come earlier to spare us from the heat stroke?!? i do admit that the wind was very strong and the rain was damn drenching but i think its better than a heat wave, right???

Once the storm came, everybody went home cause the wind was so damn strong and the rain was so damn heavy, me and my paents were about to head-off when whatsherface whined to daddy that her car was stuck so we had to help and her fucking car was stuck on someone's yard in a sort of mudpit... i along with other people were asked to heave-ho the car while my mom was doing neat tricks with the car from inside, while under the fucking rain! i was asked to push behind the tyres and guess fucking what? the mud came straight at me and i was covered from head t toe with stinking mud!!!!!!! I mean for fuck's sake! i was the only one who got sprayed with that much mudd! its so not fucking fair! i had to take a second shower and profusely clean my cara melayu! thinks could not get any worse and if it does than thank you to the cosmic powers above for making this day one of my fucking worst!

James Dean tribute~ (My new idol)

A whole lotta Peace and Luv

Peace and Love to everyone!

Im supposed to be finishing up 2 of my essays that are to be handed in tomorrow but try as i might, i have no power to finish it~ instead i watched Step-Up2:The Streets and took these pics which were inspired by vloggers from YouTube who call themselves Pat and Carolyn, they created a montage of pics of people doin the heart hands where you use your hands to make a heart shape! It was pretty sweet so thats why i did the heart hands myself cause theres just something about it that just moves me...

Anyways more pics of me and heart shaped hands below! Have fun!
Btw i was supposed to upload the pics of me and my 2 besties took yesterday where we sungkai'd together and went to JP~ Had total fun with those 2 knuckleheads and at JP we bumped into some familiar faces and actually made some interestin friends! i'll try to upload tomorrow if i can~ =)

I heart U

oooooohhhh~ Luvin U babe
Happay Heart!
I heart U (in writitng)

Hey! My Disco stick! =)

Take care luv

Vogue~

dont you think i look hot?

on the same day i was almost cast out of the class, i and feeqah were bored as hell cause we didn't enter any other classes so we took pics! hahahaha, oh how the youth have stooped so low~ anyways~ the picture of vogue is me striking a pose or vogueing~ Hahaha, it actually makes my hip sore but its my favourite pose, rugged ah! inspired by Benny Ninja from the House of Ninja... Actually, the ones in the room were Me, Fiqah and Mira but Mira was busy making love to her laptop so her pics are not included. If you would've seen the positions she did with her laptop! it would blow your mind! i didn't even think that such a position would be physically possible! Anyways, here are the pics! ot all of them though, i posted all of it on facebook =)

Hillarious vogueing!

whoops! how did this pic get here?!

box pose! (literally!)
howdy neighbour! =)

Move ovah Beyonce! theres a new sistah in da hood!

Call me SiiBulat Fierce!
OMFG

"Get out of the class!"

fyi, im still happy kay?

Im at school now and its exactly 10.58am according to my lappy and im chillin at the duo-air-conditioned room... hahaha~ santai yo! i've only been to one class today and thats Socio which is exactly the reason why i've lost all interest to enter any other classes today... The reason Socio today was a moodkiller was because i was asked to get out of the class all because i felt asleep in class! i mean what the hell kn tu??? i was just innocently sleeping for probably about 10-20 minutes and when i woke up she was like, "Wardi, you can get out of the class if you find the class boring, if you dont wanna listen then get out cause its annoying me", and i was like Whoa! hold on a minute! in my mind though... so you can imagine how very shocked i was, hahaha, so i played the words inside my head to figure out whether i should really get out or just stay in class...

In the end, i just stayed cause by leaving i would add fuel to the fire and i totally wanted to sit-out through the whole period without getting burned. So i stayed and shut up while keeping myself fully awake. The atmosphere was like totally awkward! everyone was silent, there wasn't even a whisper! daym! she is FIIIEEEEEERCE! Anyways i felt that that was uncalled for because the guy behind me to my left sleeps during class everyday and he was never kicked out! how come i was? i mean it was my first time! Well, actually not my first time but it was the first time i got caught, anyways my point is that it was so unfair! hmph, whatever... plus, when i woke up from my LECTURE-INDUCED slumber, that 'guy' was still sleeping, in a sitting position nonetheless!!! Urgh... im just a bit pissed but just a bit cause i do not let things like that affect me, by the time i was outta the class i was smiling cause it was pretty awkward trying to pass her to get outta the door, hhahahaha! SERAM!

MOST. TERRIFYING. EXPERIENCE. EVER.

PS: FUCK YOU VERY VERY MUCH!

im still happy

happy-go-fucky

The AS results

YEEEEEHAWWWWWW!!!!!!!

The AS results came out on tuesday and you can just imagine how hectic school was on that day, it was like whaaaa? everyone was goin out of their classrooms and crowded the notice board, it took me like almost half-an-hour to actually reached the notice board to check out my grades... I actually knew about my grade on my monday due to the sms register shit and the only reason i actually took the time to claw my way to the notice board was to make sure of my grades. That and to blow off much of maths time as possible, yeah! what? you know i hate my math class, its like evryday blah blah blah differentiate X blah blah blah Integrate Y blah blah blah. Such a freakin snoozefest! plus, nowadays, numbers make me nauseous like hell! i mean, i get why maths is important, you know, the multiplication, division, addition and subtraction shit but everything else is like whoa!

Anyways, my AS results... Im proud to say that i scored for the AS! Oh yeah! i got an ABCC yo! which is great enough for me... My grades according to subjects are;

English Literature~~~~~~~~[A]
English AS~~~~~~~~~~~~~~[B]

Sociology~~~~~~~~~~~~~~[C]

Mathematics~~~~~~~~~~~~[C]

They are da bomb ryte? haha! i actually didn't expect my Lit to be an A cause i was hopingt to get an A for my EAS cause i poured my heart and soul into it during the AS but according to the breakdown, my compo paper got an A so i can totally dig that! i remembered i wrote a story that involves a guy, a girl and a colour-shifting magic rose, like whaaaa? i actually loved that story! wish we were given our answer papers back cause i really wanna make a continuation of that story in my mind...

can you see my grades? haha!

Im really happy bout my results, but im still gonna retake my Maths and Socio cause i think i can do better than a C for Socio... oh yeah, and maths... wish i got higher so i could drop these 2 suns cause i find them difficult, yes, i find them difficult rather than Lit. I actually didn't study much for the AS Lit so it was quite suprising when i found out about my grade, hahaha. Im a natural ya'll, wooohoooo~

Its now 6.25 and im havin school so yeah, BOOOORIIIIINGGG!!!!! the last few days of school are very interesting, found an empty all for ourselves, complete with an air conditioner~ not just one but two so its like freakin cold there! sadly the room is on the second floor so its kinda exhaustiong when walking from classes to the room and i swear to god! ever since we hanged out at that room i lost some weight! but its probably just wishful thinkin. hahaha, just yesterday we were like vogueing in that room like crazy! apparently vogueing is not easy! its like couture yoga so my joints are feelin very sore for trying one of their poses and by 'their' i mean Benny Ninja and the house of Ninja!

strike a pose and work it!

Oh yeah, lately i've been watching Psych seasons 2 and 3 and it is awesome! its just so funny, there are no episodes i dont like and i love them characters especially Shawn and Gus, they da bomb!

I've gotta get ready for school now cause dont wanna repeat performance of yesterday where my dad was fuming! hahah, batal puasanya yesterday! hahahaha! Peace out ya'll!

Back from my hiatus baby!

So my last post was apparently on the 12th of July which means... (calculating in my head) its been 5 weeks and 1 day since i've posted anything on this dear old site of mine! its not like this blog of mine gets hits or anything so yadda yadda yadda... hahah! a lot has happened in the 5 weeks and 1 day that i havent been blogging, there were bad things that happened, there were good things that happened, enraging things, annoying things, weird things and even plain stupid things which i do not care to list down cause the length of the list would be from here till BSB... Maybe im exaggerating, i guess from here till jangsak would be a lil bit accurate. Seriously. Im not kidding. Its that long. Trust me, i've measured. Anyways, i think a summary of events that passed should be enough if i remember them all that is...

Well, the events that im gonna list down are not in chronological order so bear with me cause 5 weeks and 1 day is a pretty long time k and i dont have an eidetic memory, i barely even have a strong memory let alone an eidetic one! Here goes:
Well, there was a fight between someone i know and another someone i know and the first someone i know showed a different side of himself which was unexpected of him and the first someone i know pummelled the second someone i know. poor lad. tsk tsk tsk.
I found out something disturbing about someone i know and it. is. creeeeepyyyyyy. and sad in a way. O! wat has the world come to?!
There was my mock exams which i apparently sucked at. hard. I seriously need to get my shit together.
There was also a day where me along with the others skipped school and went hangin at another friend's house. Apparently it was a very enjoyable experience. (O.<)
Oh yeah! and of course there is swine flu! i almost forgot about that lil sweetheart! haha!
I also found a way to 'accidentally' bump with the love of my life, ooooh, im good~
Apparently, i also found out that one of my first loves is actually a lower six in katok but she doesn't remember me. I do though, God, i really do.
I no longer exist im my maths class evn when im present! have i gone invisible! i mean seriously? no one notices me? screw it!
Its gettin harder for me to wake up during Socio =)
2 of my friend's birthday had passed (Ash and Mira) last week.
Yazid, Freaky andd Me are spending much more time together, last week went to the movies with them and yesterday went to the beach with Freaky while PUASA!
Im catchig up on the Psych series, hahaha, James Roday and Dule Hill are HIGHLARIOUS!
Im now into a kasturi phase where every drink i order must have kasturi in it to a point where my mom bought me a whole bag of kasturis which i believe is called lime. i think.
Last thursday went crazy with the guys like good ol' times, we laughed till we got sick! seriously!
Last but not least, we are planning a get together with the other active members of our group to have sungkai together, cant wait!

Freaky Sunday

Okay tooday was totally fun! Yesterday Freaky wanted me to accompany him on an interview with some Bruneian Artist who he wants to get advice from... The scheduled appointment was at 9am so i probably woke up at about 8am-ish (Jgn Nda Galat! Kalat Mata Wh Lakat!). Anyways he actually picked me up at about 9-ish cuase sii dang klantit atu rupanya akhir bangun dripada aku, hahaha, aku sja yg ngalih2 bekarih bangun awal. Anyways once he picked me up i looked at his artwork that he wanted to get advice on and rupa2nya, comic yg di buatnya ani! Hahaha! The coloured one made me laugh cause it reminded of Yazid and a certain discipline teacher from MD whom i do not wish to reveal. I also read the rest of his comics and some of them are actually very good. Based on idup seharian org Brunai kaliah, buleeeeh. Apparently the artist he's supposed to meet with today made a famous Bruneian comic way back when which i could not seem to recall. The interview was suppose to take place at the Dewan Bahasa Office and when we reached there, kwengkwengkweng! Pagarnya smua betutup. Gila wh! Freaky had to call the artist and rupa2nya the artist thought that the interview was supposed to happen yesterday so we were left there hanging with no idea what to do. Freaky rescheduled the interview for next week while i was thinking about a plan of action...

By our unique creative minds we decided to head to gadong! Gila kreatif ah kmi ah! Gadong wah kmi pikirkn! We probably reached Gdg at about 10-ish and siuuk eh bnyak kadai buka ah! plus today was my first time i went to The Mall in the morning! So once in The Mall we decided to pusing2 mcm si palui dlm mall ah and stopped for a while dpan cineplex. We were just browsing around the movie titles when we saw the title "Ice Age 3" playing at 11am. With just a brief moment of deciding what to do we just went on bought the tickets, hahahahah, because we had nothing better to do. Spontan wh decision kmi ah! Gila! We bought the tickets at about 10.30 and decided to spend the remaining half-an-hour karaoke-ing songs from ST12 and a song called Bersama Bintang (Freaky's Treat). I actually enjoyed singing the malay songs wlaupun bru pernah mendangar so i just went with the flow while Freaky was pouring out his outrageous vocals (D'moz plg orangnya!) hahaha. After that, off to watch ICE AGE 3!!!

Ice Age 3 was damn awesome eventhough i felt a drastic change in the humour, the humour was kinda a lil adult like. For example, when Buck wanted to tell the story how he turned a T-Rex into a T-Rachel. I dunno kids these days are exposed to jokes like that but i just felt a wee bit weirded out cause aboviously the dialogue means he probably cut-off the T-Rex's penis. frightening image actually. Anyways i actually loved the movie BERABIS! and it was fun spending the day with Freaky eventhough kmi balik by pukul 2pm which is very early but whats important is we both had fun and we probably joked about anything through the whole process. Thanks Freak!!!

Ice Age Poster

Freaky

From Now and Beyond

Okay its already been 3 days of school and since Brunei is having a breakout of the H1N1 virus, a lot of people were sent home and sadly, i wasn't one of them... It only took me 2 days to go back to my class-skipping ways. 2 days. The first couple of days were kinda good, no pressure no stress but then... Everything changed, i can hardly stay awake in Maths and i havent even finished reading the book im supposed to read for Elit which we were supposed to read during the holidays but you know me, i love me a good book and all but this latest book is killing my brain. Not because its bad or anything but its just not the type of genre that im really in to. In other news, Sociology is getting really hard since the topic is about religion and im having a hard time registering it into my brain. really really hard. Meanwhile, EAS, well, i havent actually entered my EAS class but soon i will. Eventually. In other news, Ash is now a technical student so he wont be with us for the whole year which is sad cause he tends to create a very sunny and friendly environment whenever he's around. Im gonna miss that bastard but hey, its a good thing he got accepted at technical. I on the other hand am struggling to be a perfect student cause frankly i do not enjoy learning, i only enjoy writing and that only happens during EAS class which is now not very active in doing creative works ( i found about this through a friend).

Today we actually had a conversation about higher education and apparently i knew nothing of the names and the exams that i'll probably face in the future which led me to question whether im gonna survive in the future on my own. I mean i havent exactly had thought about what im gonna do or what im gonna take in the future but thats because im not sure of anything. Im the kind of guy that believes in fate and for all this time i was counting on fate to lead me. Now im not so sure that fate alone can help me achieve an easy life. Im just too dependent, naive and clueless. I had a deprived childhood where my future was decide by my parents and not me, it still is though and thats why i actually am not ready to face the future. I was practically spoon fed for all my life but im not the only one to blame cause i actually was not given a choice whether or not i wanted my parents to decide for me. Oh Fuck It! I dont wanna think about this anymore... Bye!

I've felt worse

I went to the dentist today for the first time in my 17 years of living life and suprisingly there was no pain, no agony and actually it felt pretty quick eventhough in reality the procedure took more than half an hour. Ironically the pain and the agony that im feeling now is because of my ulcer filled toungue. 4 big ones to be exact and they are a bitch! Totally making my life a living hell. Anyways, i went to the dentist today because i wanted an extra tooth to be removed because the tooth was scraping my ulcers like crazy. The experience was interesting, i mean there was like a lot of things that i felt was being done to me, i felt the dentist breaking of the tooth, i felt some grinding, some pulling, i felt the dentist sew something inside my mouth, felt the nurse suctioning the liquids and i definitely felt and tasted blood, lots of it. Its pretty uncomfortable really. I find my experience kinda funny because, after i was given the chemical that numbed me and allowed me to feel no pain (i know the name but im not sure of the spelling), practically half of my face from the left side of my mouth to my left nostril was numb for like half a day! Its funny because i could only feel the right side of my face while my left side especially my lips felt tingly and kinda dead too and it also felt sorta plump. Like my lips on the left side were being pumped with something to make them thicker which made me feel like Megan Fox. You know with her very pumped up and pouty lips. Thats how i felt!

Of course now the numbness is gone and i kinda miss that lost extra tooth of mine. Kind of. I have another appointment though with the dentist to take off my stitches or whatever their called. Today, i've gained another life altering experience, this experience totally belongs with the time i donated my blood at school. Mind you that both of those times i thought that it would hurt but apparently both of it didn't. Eventhough both times there was a needle involved. Totally fuckin great ey? I know its lame to think that these experiences are awesome but hey, when your like me, even buying a whole lot of chocolate seems awesome. Actually just bought a lot of chocolate and i feel a sorta rush cause i dont do chocolate. Anyways, these little moments make life a little bit interesting, not in an edgy way but more like a clear "open your eyes" kinda way.

PS: Just watched the season finale of Grey's Anatomy which made me wanna say

I LOVE YOU

to everyone i care about the most and the ones i really cherish (you know who you are!) just wanna mention that just in case something unexpected happens to me or any of you...

LIFE IS TOO SHORT

Another week Holidays, Yay?

Okay i just heard about the news that the school hols are gonna continue for another week from my dad and i was like "Whaaaa...?" cause its sorta like a dream come true but i think its also a nightmare in disguise cause if there's no school for another week that means i have to stay at home for another week spending my useless existence with my disfunctional family. The thought is scaring the shit outta me! Nonetheless, another week of the hols gives me so much extra time to do my Socio Assignment and read the book im supposed to read for literature which i was supposed to read before the school hols... Plus, i can actually make time now to play with my ancient Nintendo DS which is like a blue whale compared to the Nintendo DS Lite which i hate because of its awesome colours! and its miniature physique! Damn! Anyways, Yesterday i watched Transformers 2: Revenge of The Fallen with Zid and his cousins and it was to me awesome because of its special effects and the humour was priceless. We were actually lucky to get seats to the movie yesterday cause it was a full house and you cant imagine how many seats were booked for the other times the movie was shown. It was like every second there were people buying or booking seats to watch the movie... Anyways i totally enjoyed the movie and if your planning to watch it then take a bathroom break early cause your not gonna want to miss anything and the movie is 2 hours plus soo your ass is gonna be pretty sore but just be patient cause your not gonna regret watching it... Ciao...

GBL Tradition: Marshmallow Madness

These pics are from the GBL Tradition which only happens every last day of school where everyone of our members escape school and we hang out together, since the last day of school was a week ago, i cant tell you how outdated these pics are. This last GBL Tradition, we gathered at pantai tungku wherein last tradition we spent it at pantai berakas. I dubbed this last tradition Marshmallow Madness cause we went to the beach with coal in hand and spent the whole morning till mid-day burning marshmallows! and they were D.E.L.I.C.I.O.U.S and we burnt/heated/cooked plenty of marshmallows considering how many bags were there, and of course why go to the beach if your not gonna swim right? Im very thankful that i didn't get sunburned again, although saiful and mimi got burned/stung by jellyfishes all in all the tradition was a sucess. In the afternoon, the guys played football at the bc and that was it... Sorry, no pics of the football...