08 July 2009

From Now and Beyond

Okay its already been 3 days of school and since Brunei is having a breakout of the H1N1 virus, a lot of people were sent home and sadly, i wasn't one of them... It only took me 2 days to go back to my class-skipping ways. 2 days. The first couple of days were kinda good, no pressure no stress but then... Everything changed, i can hardly stay awake in Maths and i havent even finished reading the book im supposed to read for Elit which we were supposed to read during the holidays but you know me, i love me a good book and all but this latest book is killing my brain. Not because its bad or anything but its just not the type of genre that im really in to. In other news, Sociology is getting really hard since the topic is about religion and im having a hard time registering it into my brain. really really hard. Meanwhile, EAS, well, i havent actually entered my EAS class but soon i will. Eventually. In other news, Ash is now a technical student so he wont be with us for the whole year which is sad cause he tends to create a very sunny and friendly environment whenever he's around. Im gonna miss that bastard but hey, its a good thing he got accepted at technical. I on the other hand am struggling to be a perfect student cause frankly i do not enjoy learning, i only enjoy writing and that only happens during EAS class which is now not very active in doing creative works ( i found about this through a friend).

Today we actually had a conversation about higher education and apparently i knew nothing of the names and the exams that i'll probably face in the future which led me to question whether im gonna survive in the future on my own. I mean i havent exactly had thought about what im gonna do or what im gonna take in the future but thats because im not sure of anything. Im the kind of guy that believes in fate and for all this time i was counting on fate to lead me. Now im not so sure that fate alone can help me achieve an easy life. Im just too dependent, naive and clueless. I had a deprived childhood where my future was decide by my parents and not me, it still is though and thats why i actually am not ready to face the future. I was practically spoon fed for all my life but im not the only one to blame cause i actually was not given a choice whether or not i wanted my parents to decide for me. Oh Fuck It! I dont wanna think about this anymore... Bye!

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