Hear me rant!

So like oh my god! its been a very long while since i've blogged about anything... Well, you know how it is, now we've got Facebook, Twitter and yadda yadda yadda... My mind has been too simplistic to write a post, so simple that im just using facebook to describe what feel daily with more or less one sentence, aint that just grand? So its been like almost a month since my A-levels started (Yes, the most dreaded exam of the year!) and suprisingly it has not been that very stressful~ Well, maybe because for the whole duration of the exam season i've been hangin around with Zid and Freaky and making fools of ourseles as we hang out! We dont just hang out, we actually, well, occasionally study together but that only took us about a couple hours. Once we gie up on studying, its off we go to the beach! Yes, we go to the beach everytime! You might be thinkin that we would get bored of hangin at the beach everyday but no, we dont get bored, each and everytime was fun for us... Anyways, theres only 1 exam left for me and that is English Literature, which i havent even touched! I havent even read one of the books which is "The Duchess of Malfi" which by the way is very effing boooorrrriiiiiinggg!!!! Hahahaha, Its so funny that the subject that im most good at is the subject that im most bored with! I really need to fix that problem since im targeting a Literature scholarship~~~

Enough about academics, its time to hear about my personal life which by the way has probably improved, probably.... Im really starting to miss my parents and my big bro since they left for the Haj which was last tuesday. I know i've always said a million times that i hate them but we're family, sometimes we hate on each other but most of the time we love each other, at least thats what i think! hahahaha! Now im left with Sis and god almighty she can bitch! She bitches so good, aint nothin she cant bitch about! hahaha, seriously! Living with this woman is like livin in a minefield, i gotta watch where i step so i wouldn't be blown up to smitherenes! I fuckin hate her, unlike my other family members whom i have a love/hate relationship with, when it comes to my sister, its a hate/hate relationship! you can practically count how many minutes she's been nice in a day! I really hope i can survive!

In other news! Z's got a girlfriend and im am so damn proud of him! i swear to god, that the minute i saw that his facebook status went from "its complicated" to "in an open relationship", my heart skipped a beat cause i really cant believe that my bestfriend's all grown up! After that i just felt a wave of nostalgia and went on thinkin about love~~~ see, i havent actually found anyone, i didn't even TRY to find anyone! I suddenly thought up about how im gonna meet my true love and damn it was cheesy! So after givin this some serious thought i finally went outside for a smoke and then guess what happened? While i lighting up a cigarette, i looked up ath the clouds and i saw this cloud shaped as a heart and i was like whaaa??? i figured that it was a sign whether i should start tryin to find my soulmate or that Z's relationship is really born outta love considerin that i saw the heart-shaped cloud right after looking at the change in his status... Man, i totally felt weird yesterday watchin the cloud cause i really do wanna find my true love but i just dont know how, im just too scared~ Ive had my heartbroken, dozens of times and i wasn't even in a relationship back then! The people i used to love never loved me back cause i was always the friend, never the lover so its no wonder i have a hard time trying to find someone~ And sometimes the people around me aint makin things easier, theres pressure for being single nowadays and i hate that very much... The ones who are passing judgement arent even in real relationships! sure they have girlfriends/boyfriends but when you ask them why they cant stay a single day being single they'll answer "being single is boring!" which is stupi cause that means that they're in a relationship just for fun... Puh-lease! Honey! that ain t a relationship! thats just a fling! So what if i wanna wait for a relationship with someone i truly love huh??? So what??? A relationship without love somehow feels useless and empty......