Since its the first day, and its a public holiday, today's fast is going to be easy but once school starts again, baru tya sandi! Hahahah, like me, im fasting and im trying to finish my uni assignment so my stomach is grumbling and my head is banging... i've been given lots of time to finish the assignment but i just cant do it... I'd like to just throw myself at the wind during the presentation but im in a group presentation so if im throwing myself at the wind, im bringing them with me... I FUCKING HATE THIS!!! Not to mention i have no idea what to do for this presentation, i mean i've found the necessary info but i just can expaqnd it and make it intellectual and uni is all about intellect...
*inhales* *exhales* *inhales* *exhales* i really need to chill and mellow out since im fasting but i've been chill and mellow since yesterday... the pressure of uni life is getting to me, i mean like, after lecture yesterday i went straight to the beach on my lonesome and just let go of life... i was like catatonic, i mean my body moved, as in i drank and ate the snacks i brought with me and i smoked the cigs i brought too but my mind was a total black hole, i thought about nothing for more than an hour and once i started to think again, i felt depressed. Cause the fact that i went to the beach just to think about nothing leads me to believe that i've lost my enthusiasm to live...
Which sounds so sad but its not uncommon to me, where is last year whenever i used to lose my reason to live, i would just cut myself but now, since i have a car and a driver's license i can freely handle my stress my own way, by thinking about nothing while lounging around at the beach... Anyways i think my original topic was about fasting but i just got carried away elsewhere sooo have a good fast everyone and wish me luck in my life cause i think i need it... XS
here's a fun take on puasa/fasting =)
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